Business History Books » Business Plans » ATTN: atwood
ATTN: atwood
Question:
> We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we > are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can > get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat,
You have to hand over FF miles to get an exit row seat? Do tell what airline you fly, remind me never to use them… 
mike (~70% exit row success rate, zero FF miles expended
Response:
caused to appear as if it was written: >We are the airline apologists. Do not argue with us, for we always win. Do >not try to reason with us, for we are unreasonable. Do not try to use >logic; it doesn’t work with us. >You see, we are losers. We have no life. We have to hang out in >rec.travel.air all the time because no one else will have us. Our spouses >are sick of us, our children won’t speak to us, our co-workers look down on >us. >We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we >are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can >get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat, because we feel >superior to everyone else and we just know that we deserve special >treatment.
To continue in the same vein: "We are too stupid to realize that the essential prerequisite to obtaining nicer accomodations (such as upgrades, exit rows, empty adjacent seats) is that the desired seat(s) be empty, therefore it is in our best interest to dissuade people from flying our preferred airline(s)." Malc.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->We are the airline apologists. Do not argue with us, for we always win. Do >not try to reason with us, for we are unreasonable. Do not try to use >logic; it doesn’t work with us. >You see, we are losers. We have no life. We have to hang out in >rec.travel.air all the time because no one else will have us. Our spouses >are sick of us, our children won’t speak to us, our co-workers look down on >us. >We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we >are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can >get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat, because we feel >superior to everyone else and we just know that we deserve special >treatment. We absolutely will not sit with the rest of you low-class >peasants on the airplane. We are too good for that. So we grovel and >blubber and kiss ass and suck up to airline employees, no matter how much we >might privately hate them, hoping that they will know us by name and >recognize us the next time we fly their airline and upgrade us for free and >give us all the other little special attentions and treatments that make our >otherwise sad, pathetic little lives meaningful. >But we are not stupid. We know that airlines are corrupt businesses run by >fat, greedy, balding middle-aged men with too much money invested in pension >plans and stock option deals in their companies to care about anyone else, >least of all the passengers. We know the airlines are experts at gouging >the public and scheming and colluding with each other behind our backs to >keep the public in the dark about what is really going on. We know they’re >out to squeeze the last cent they can out of us while packing us in tighter >than sardines and making us endure long hours of torture inside cramped >metal tubes without food and an adequate oxygen supply. We know that far >too many airline employees are stupid, lazy, incompetent little monsters who >dread going to work everyday and hate serving the public and take it out on >the customers. We know. Deep down, we hate them too. >But you see, there is a reason why we look the other way and pretend that >none of this exists, and castigate you or anyone else who dares to say out >loud that the emperor is naked. You see, that is because we are special and >you are not. We are superior. We feel our elite frequent flyer status >entitles us to benefits and privileges that the rest of society does not >deserve. You certainly don’t deserve them. >We have spent our sad and pathetic little lives flying and accumulating too >many points to let you or anyone else ruin our little party, even if the >party is only inside our own heads. We will push and shove our way to the >front of the line and speak louder than anyone else and make sure we stand >out and are heard in order to ensure that airline personnel know who we are >and treat us better than they treat the rest of you. And for that, there is >no better way than to suck up to our favorite airline, the one we fly most >often, and the one we have the most frequent flyer points with, in the hopes >of getting noticed. We cherish the attention airline employees give us. We >thrive on it. We love to kiss the asses of the airline employees who post >in the newsgroups because that strokes their egos and opens them up and >makes them share all their little secrets with us, so that when we travel, >we know exactly what to do and what to say to be noticed and singled out for >special treatment. It’s our little secret, you see. We stroke them, and >they spit out everything they know, and in the end we benefit from it. >Shhh, don’t tell anyone we told you, okay? >Yes, we are outcasts. Yes, we are losers. Yes, we are sad, lonely >creatures, pathetic specimens of humanity. That’s fine by us, because as >long as we get what we want, we don’t care what anyone else says or thinks >about us. We already know everyone hates us. No one in real life can stand >us. Not our families, not our friends, or our neighbors, or co-workers. >That’s fine by us. We are freaks, and we don’t care. Because we know how >to get upgraded and you don’t. We get bulkhead seats and exit-row seats and >you don’t. We get special treatment, and you don’t. >We’re special. And you’re not.
Touche! Nice spoof … :-)
Response:
Who _is_ atwood? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > We are the airline apologists. Do not argue with us, for we always win. Do > not try to reason with us, for we are unreasonable. Do not try to use > logic; it doesn’t work with us. > You see, we are losers. We have no life. We have to hang out in > rec.travel.air all the time because no one else will have us. Our spouses > are sick of us, our children won’t speak to us, our co-workers look down on > us. > We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we > are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can > get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat, because we feel > superior to everyone else and we just know that we deserve special > treatment. We absolutely will not sit with the rest of you low-class > peasants on the airplane. We are too good for that. So we grovel and > blubber and kiss ass and suck up to airline employees, no matter how much we > might privately hate them, hoping that they will know us by name and > recognize us the next time we fly their airline and upgrade us for free and > give us all the other little special attentions and treatments that make our > otherwise sad, pathetic little lives meaningful. > But we are not stupid. We know that airlines are corrupt businesses run by > fat, greedy, balding middle-aged men with too much money invested in pension > plans and stock option deals in their companies to care about anyone else, > least of all the passengers. We know the airlines are experts at gouging > the public and scheming and colluding with each other behind our backs to > keep the public in the dark about what is really going on. We know they’re > out to squeeze the last cent they can out of us while packing us in tighter > than sardines and making us endure long hours of torture inside cramped > metal tubes without food and an adequate oxygen supply. We know that far > too many airline employees are stupid, lazy, incompetent little monsters who > dread going to work everyday and hate serving the public and take it out on > the customers. We know. Deep down, we hate them too. > But you see, there is a reason why we look the other way and pretend that > none of this exists, and castigate you or anyone else who dares to say out > loud that the emperor is naked. You see, that is because we are special and > you are not. We are superior. We feel our elite frequent flyer status > entitles us to benefits and privileges that the rest of society does not > deserve. You certainly don’t deserve them. > We have spent our sad and pathetic little lives flying and accumulating too > many points to let you or anyone else ruin our little party, even if the > party is only inside our own heads. We will push and shove our way to the > front of the line and speak louder than anyone else and make sure we stand > out and are heard in order to ensure that airline personnel know who we are > and treat us better than they treat the rest of you. And for that, there is > no better way than to suck up to our favorite airline, the one we fly most > often, and the one we have the most frequent flyer points with, in the hopes > of getting noticed. We cherish the attention airline employees give us. We > thrive on it. We love to kiss the asses of the airline employees who post > in the newsgroups because that strokes their egos and opens them up and > makes them share all their little secrets with us, so that when we travel, > we know exactly what to do and what to say to be noticed and singled out for > special treatment. It’s our little secret, you see. We stroke them, and > they spit out everything they know, and in the end we benefit from it. > Shhh, don’t tell anyone we told you, okay? > Yes, we are outcasts. Yes, we are losers. Yes, we are sad, lonely > creatures, pathetic specimens of humanity. That’s fine by us, because as > long as we get what we want, we don’t care what anyone else says or thinks > about us. We already know everyone hates us. No one in real life can stand > us. Not our families, not our friends, or our neighbors, or co-workers. > That’s fine by us. We are freaks, and we don’t care. Because we know how > to get upgraded and you don’t. We get bulkhead seats and exit-row seats and > you don’t. We get special treatment, and you don’t. > We’re special. And you’re not.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > We are the airline apologists. Do not argue with us, for we always win. Do > not try to reason with us, for we are unreasonable. Do not try to use > logic; it doesn’t work with us. > You see, we are losers. We have no life. We have to hang out in > rec.travel.air all the time because no one else will have us. Our spouses > are sick of us, our children won’t speak to us, our co-workers look down on > us. > We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we > are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can > get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat, because we feel > superior to everyone else and we just know that we deserve special > treatment. We absolutely will not sit with the rest of you low-class > peasants on the airplane. We are too good for that. So we grovel and > blubber and kiss ass and suck up to airline employees, no matter how much we > might privately hate them, hoping that they will know us by name and > recognize us the next time we fly their airline and upgrade us for free and > give us all the other little special attentions and treatments that make our > otherwise sad, pathetic little lives meaningful. > But we are not stupid. We know that airlines are corrupt businesses run by > fat, greedy, balding middle-aged men with too much money invested in pension > plans and stock option deals in their companies to care about anyone else, > least of all the passengers. We know the airlines are experts at gouging > the public and scheming and colluding with each other behind our backs to > keep the public in the dark about what is really going on. We know they’re > out to squeeze the last cent they can out of us while packing us in tighter > than sardines and making us endure long hours of torture inside cramped > metal tubes without food and an adequate oxygen supply. We know that far > too many airline employees are stupid, lazy, incompetent little monsters who > dread going to work everyday and hate serving the public and take it out on > the customers. We know. Deep down, we hate them too. > But you see, there is a reason why we look the other way and pretend that > none of this exists, and castigate you or anyone else who dares to say out > loud that the emperor is naked. You see, that is because we are special and > you are not. We are superior. We feel our elite frequent flyer status > entitles us to benefits and privileges that the rest of society does not > deserve. You certainly don’t deserve them. > We have spent our sad and pathetic little lives flying and accumulating too > many points to let you or anyone else ruin our little party, even if the > party is only inside our own heads. We will push and shove our way to the > front of the line and speak louder than anyone else and make sure we stand > out and are heard in order to ensure that airline personnel know who we are > and treat us better than they treat the rest of you. And for that, there is > no better way than to suck up to our favorite airline, the one we fly most > often, and the one we have the most frequent flyer points with, in the hopes > of getting noticed. We cherish the attention airline employees give us. We > thrive on it. We love to kiss the asses of the airline employees who post > in the newsgroups because that strokes their egos and opens them up and > makes them share all their little secrets with us, so that when we travel, > we know exactly what to do and what to say to be noticed and singled out for > special treatment. It’s our little secret, you see. We stroke them, and > they spit out everything they know, and in the end we benefit from it. > Shhh, don’t tell anyone we told you, okay? > Yes, we are outcasts. Yes, we are losers. Yes, we are sad, lonely > creatures, pathetic specimens of humanity. That’s fine by us, because as > long as we get what we want, we don’t care what anyone else says or thinks > about us. We already know everyone hates us. No one in real life can stand > us. Not our families, not our friends, or our neighbors, or co-workers. > That’s fine by us. We are freaks, and we don’t care. Because we know how > to get upgraded and you don’t. We get bulkhead seats and exit-row seats and > you don’t. We get special treatment, and you don’t. > We’re special. And you’re not.
Wow! You sure got me pegged.
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >We are the airline apologists. Do not argue with us, for we always win. Do >not try to reason with us, for we are unreasonable. Do not try to use >logic; it doesn’t work with us. >You see, we are losers. We have no life. We have to hang out in >rec.travel.air all the time because no one else will have us. Our spouses >are sick of us, our children won’t speak to us, our co-workers look down on >us. >We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we >are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can >get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat, because we feel >superior to everyone else and we just know that we deserve special >treatment. We absolutely will not sit with the rest of you low-class >peasants on the airplane. We are too good for that. So we grovel and >blubber and kiss ass and suck up to airline employees, no matter how much we >might privately hate them, hoping that they will know us by name and >recognize us the next time we fly their airline and upgrade us for free and >give us all the other little special attentions and treatments that make our >otherwise sad, pathetic little lives meaningful. >But we are not stupid. We know that airlines are corrupt businesses run by >fat, greedy, balding middle-aged men with too much money invested in pension >plans and stock option deals in their companies to care about anyone else, >least of all the passengers. We know the airlines are experts at gouging >the public and scheming and colluding with each other behind our backs to >keep the public in the dark about what is really going on. We know they’re >out to squeeze the last cent they can out of us while packing us in tighter >than sardines and making us endure long hours of torture inside cramped >metal tubes without food and an adequate oxygen supply. We know that far >too many airline employees are stupid, lazy, incompetent little monsters who >dread going to work everyday and hate serving the public and take it out on >the customers. We know. Deep down, we hate them too. >But you see, there is a reason why we look the other way and pretend that >none of this exists, and castigate you or anyone else who dares to say out >loud that the emperor is naked. You see, that is because we are special and >you are not. We are superior. We feel our elite frequent flyer status >entitles us to benefits and privileges that the rest of society does not >deserve. You certainly don’t deserve them. >We have spent our sad and pathetic little lives flying and accumulating too >many points to let you or anyone else ruin our little party, even if the >party is only inside our own heads. We will push and shove our way to the >front of the line and speak louder than anyone else and make sure we stand >out and are heard in order to ensure that airline personnel know who we are >and treat us better than they treat the rest of you. And for that, there is >no better way than to suck up to our favorite airline, the one we fly most >often, and the one we have the most frequent flyer points with, in the hopes >of getting noticed. We cherish the attention airline employees give us. We >thrive on it. We love to kiss the asses of the airline employees who post >in the newsgroups because that strokes their egos and opens them up and >makes them share all their little secrets with us, so that when we travel, >we know exactly what to do and what to say to be noticed and singled out for >special treatment. It’s our little secret, you see. We stroke them, and >they spit out everything they know, and in the end we benefit from it. >Shhh, don’t tell anyone we told you, okay? >Yes, we are outcasts. Yes, we are losers. Yes, we are sad, lonely >creatures, pathetic specimens of humanity. That’s fine by us, because as >long as we get what we want, we don’t care what anyone else says or thinks >about us. We already know everyone hates us. No one in real life can stand >us. Not our families, not our friends, or our neighbors, or co-workers. >That’s fine by us. We are freaks, and we don’t care. Because we know how >to get upgraded and you don’t. We get bulkhead seats and exit-row seats and >you don’t. We get special treatment, and you don’t. >We’re special. And you’re not.
Hey, wait a minute. I was upgraded on my last flight. Are you saying I’m special? Cool… :-) (trying to lighten up the mood around here)
Response:
We are the airline apologists. Do not argue with us, for we always win. Do not try to reason with us, for we are unreasonable. Do not try to use logic; it doesn’t work with us. You see, we are losers. We have no life. We have to hang out in rec.travel.air all the time because no one else will have us. Our spouses are sick of us, our children won’t speak to us, our co-workers look down on us. We are greedy pigs. We have to fight hard to defend our airlines because we are penny-pinching SOB’s miserly hoarding frequent flyer points so we can get that upgrade, or that free trip, or that exit-row seat, because we feel superior to everyone else and we just know that we deserve special treatment. We absolutely will not sit with the rest of you low-class peasants on the airplane. We are too good for that. So we grovel and blubber and kiss ass and suck up to airline employees, no matter how much we might privately hate them, hoping that they will know us by name and recognize us the next time we fly their airline and upgrade us for free and give us all the other little special attentions and treatments that make our otherwise sad, pathetic little lives meaningful. But we are not stupid. We know that airlines are corrupt businesses run by fat, greedy, balding middle-aged men with too much money invested in pension plans and stock option deals in their companies to care about anyone else, least of all the passengers. We know the airlines are experts at gouging the public and scheming and colluding with each other behind our backs to keep the public in the dark about what is really going on. We know they’re out to squeeze the last cent they can out of us while packing us in tighter than sardines and making us endure long hours of torture inside cramped metal tubes without food and an adequate oxygen supply. We know that far too many airline employees are stupid, lazy, incompetent little monsters who dread going to work everyday and hate serving the public and take it out on the customers. We know. Deep down, we hate them too. But you see, there is a reason why we look the other way and pretend that none of this exists, and castigate you or anyone else who dares to say out loud that the emperor is naked. You see, that is because we are special and you are not. We are superior. We feel our elite frequent flyer status entitles us to benefits and privileges that the rest of society does not deserve. You certainly don’t deserve them. We have spent our sad and pathetic little lives flying and accumulating too many points to let you or anyone else ruin our little party, even if the party is only inside our own heads. We will push and shove our way to the front of the line and speak louder than anyone else and make sure we stand out and are heard in order to ensure that airline personnel know who we are and treat us better than they treat the rest of you. And for that, there is no better way than to suck up to our favorite airline, the one we fly most often, and the one we have the most frequent flyer points with, in the hopes of getting noticed. We cherish the attention airline employees give us. We thrive on it. We love to kiss the asses of the airline employees who post in the newsgroups because that strokes their egos and opens them up and makes them share all their little secrets with us, so that when we travel, we know exactly what to do and what to say to be noticed and singled out for special treatment. It’s our little secret, you see. We stroke them, and they spit out everything they know, and in the end we benefit from it. Shhh, don’t tell anyone we told you, okay? Yes, we are outcasts. Yes, we are losers. Yes, we are sad, lonely creatures, pathetic specimens of humanity. That’s fine by us, because as long as we get what we want, we don’t care what anyone else says or thinks about us. We already know everyone hates us. No one in real life can stand us. Not our families, not our friends, or our neighbors, or co-workers. That’s fine by us. We are freaks, and we don’t care. Because we know how to get upgraded and you don’t. We get bulkhead seats and exit-row seats and you don’t. We get special treatment, and you don’t. We’re special. And you’re not.