Business History Books » Business Consulting » Disagree with the Batchelor Party!!!
Disagree with the Batchelor Party!!!
Question:
<<Shouldn’t a best man be a close enough friend to know the groom isn’t into that stuff? (not that their is anything wrong with it, it’s just a very personal thing). I suspect that is more an issue to the best man that the best man is into that sfuff and is using this as an opportunity then the groom is not into that stuff. Best regards, Rick Rosen Newport Beach, CA www.rickrosen.com
Response:
>>And, for the record, I could care less if DF wanted to go to a
strip club for a bachelor party, but thus far he’s stated the opposite…he’d rather spend time with friends, and depsite your belief that men lie to their partners about such things, he has no reason to lie, so I have no reason to think he’s doing so.<< Thanks for saying exactly what I was just trying to formulate in my mind! 
Like you, I could care less if my FH went to a strip joint or watched porn or anything else because I know exactly where his heart lies. With me. However, I also know that he has no desire to go to a strip club and has stated repeatedly that his idea of a fun Batchelors party is hanging out with some friends watching the Muppets Take Manhattan ("Somebody’s getting marrrrrrrrrrrrrrried") And, for anyone who knows him, that’s the easiest thing in the world to believe … which is why I highly doubt that any of his friends would even suggest any strippers for his party. Of course, his BM, his brother has a Hooters fetish, but that’s a whole ‘nother story 
Mary to Phil 6/23/2001
Response:
>I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the >NG. >The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This >is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best >man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the >expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his >intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a >stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH >idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I >dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried >to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" >party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will >enjoy himself. >Help!!..What can i do????
Stacy: sit back and let the chips fall where they may. You’ve addressed your concerns to the BM, offered him different (and probably better) options, but it sounds like he’s narrow of focus on the issue. So let BM live the consequences of his actions. For all we know, in spite of everything that’s been said, your FH might not find this batchelor party such a horror. Then again, perhaps he will, and that point, he and the best man have a relationship issue which THEY need to resolve. But it’s not in your long term best interest to involve yourself in the matter any further. You’ve done what you reasonably could, and I certainly commend your for that. But beyond this point, it would simply turn into an issue of rescuing. So better now to sit back and let the chips fall where they may. C.J. — C.J. Morgan
Response:
Carrie, with all due respect, *I* wouldn’t marry a man who would participate in that behavior. I’m not judging those men who do it in fun, or for whatever reason, it just doesn’t work for me in my life. and contrary to what you state, I do not believe that ALL men would love to participate just like I don’t believe that ALL women would participate given the chance to visit a male strip club. I’m just not into that kind of "fun". Respectfully, Ruth > Carrie, > did you miss parts of my post?? the problem is/was Phillip did > not want to > go. > You should *never* have interfered. The point I was making that of > course he would say to you that he didn’t want to go. > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
– Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
In the case I described, the brother of my husband is so headstrong, he doesn’t CARE what anyone else wants. when he gets an idea, he goes with it, no matter who he steps on to get it done. in my case, the best man was his 14 year old son, and the son wanted to take his dad and a bunch of guys to a nice dinner. that would be appropriate, and something my husband would have liked. the strippers, no. Ruth > Shouldn’t a best man be a close enough friend to know the groom isn’t into that > stuff? (not that their is anything wrong with it, it’s just a very personal > thing). > melissa to paul > 09-24-00
– Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
>Stacy: sit back and let the chips fall >where they may.
dont’ you think a wedding is too important to have negativity surrounding the Stacy, YOU know your fiance best. I really hated to "spoil the surprise" for Phillip, but I know based on the questions I asked him and prior conversations we had that he did NOT want this to be his bachelor party. You know your fiance. Your dedication and loyalty is to him, not the BM. it’s not about "control"….it’s about giving the man you love a "head’s up" about what is about to happen to him if you know it is something he is uncomfortable with. You would feel more guilty if you didn’t tell him, and he was embarrassed or forced into something he didn’t want to do. have you asked him what he wants to do? let him know that whatever he wants to do is great with you, and ask him if you haven’t. that should tell you if you weren’t clear on it before. best of luck and love to you! — Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
> You mean your partner regularly lies to you? Not sure about you, but I > think one’s partner should be able to to trust the other to tell the > truth about such things. If my beloved said he didn’t like the idea of > strip clubs, I’ve no reason to think he ’secretly likes them but is > protecting my innocence."
thank you, well said! — Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
>Ignore him, I think it’s Martin trying to get to you.>> >Hmmm, considering the person’s he is addressing, the silly one-liners, the >constant use of the exclamation point (!), the topics and the word usage and >inflections, my money was on it being John Douglas. Not to mention that he >recently signed a post "internet hacker" (or words to that effect).
More of your paranoid delusions Rosie ? Heh heh ! Gotcha wondering don’t I ? ! Booooo ! Regards, John S. Douglas Photographer, Webmaster & Darkroom Wizard Spectrum Photographic Inc. http://www.spectrumphoto.com
Response:
Rechelle writes:
<<Not all men are like that though Carrie. My FH enjoys strippers, but I do know a LOT of men that don’t.>> Personally, I don’t like strip clubs. I have nbeen to one in the last 30 years and that was a "businessmen’s night out" where I just went along after dinner. << Some men prefer to leave things to the imagination and strippers leave nothing. >> I agree. So when I did go to the strip club I closed my eyes. :-) <<Bachelor parties should be something that the man will enjoy but the person throwing it should also consult the groom beforehand. >> Again, only speaking for myself here. If I was to marry again I would be very uncomfortable with this kind of bachelor party if it was thrown for me. I am not a prude at all and have photographed the nude in my work but I don’t feel any interest in watching strippers. Maybe I am too old? :( Best regards, Rick Rosen Newport Beach, CA www.rickrosen.com
Response:
LOL, nah, just some men prefer to use their imaginations. I have no problem with Matt going ONCE in awhile to the strippers, as long as it’s not every night. I had a bf do that and it drove me nuts. But no matter what the bottom line here is, for the original poster, if the person throwing the party isn’t consulting your FH, then I think you should tell him and let him make his own decision if he wants to go along with it. But don’t tell him he can’t because that’ll cause friction and you don’t want to do that. Good luck, Rechelle – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Rechelle writes: > <<Not all men are like that though Carrie. My FH enjoys strippers, but I do > know > a LOT of men that don’t.>> > Personally, I don’t like strip clubs. I have nbeen to one in the last 30 years > and that was a "businessmen’s night out" where I just went along after dinner. > << Some men prefer to leave things to the imagination and strippers leave > nothing. >> > I agree. So when I did go to the strip club I closed my eyes. :-) > <<Bachelor parties should be something that the man will enjoy but the person > throwing it should also consult the groom beforehand. >> > Again, only speaking for myself here. If I was to marry again I would be very > uncomfortable with this kind of bachelor party if it was thrown for me. I am > not a prude at all and have photographed the nude in my work but I don’t feel > any interest in watching strippers. Maybe I am too old? :( > Best regards, > Rick Rosen > Newport Beach, CA > www.rickrosen.com
Response:
> > Oh Pulll–eeze!!! > While there are a small percentage of men who truly do not enjoy such > evenings, most do.
er- do you have statistics on that? And the studies to verify where such stats came from? "most" vs "small percentage"? Who are these "most" – sounds a lot like the "most men want one thing…." story. The vast majority of men I know find them boring – but they’ve gone because "that’s what you’re supposed to do for a bachelor party." (not all find them boring, some do like them). My latest BILs bachelor party included a visit to a strip club. Guess what happened? They came home early! They were home before we were (at the bachelorette party) eating pizza and drinking beer. All the men – who were accustomed to this sort of bachelor party – found it just plain boring and pointless, my BIL included. They decided it was far more fun to hang out together. Some men I know even *gasp* hold onto your hat, you won’t believe this, *dislike* the very concept of strip joints and actually find them repulsive. (these aren’t prudish sorts either, they just dislike the whole idea) > Let’s really, truly be honest with ourselves here. > Of course your sweetie isn’t going to tell you that he has been dying > to go to a party with naked women where he is the guest of honor!
You mean your partner regularly lies to you? Not sure about you, but I think one’s partner should be able to to trust the other to tell the truth about such things. If my beloved said he didn’t like the idea of strip clubs, I’ve no reason to think he ’secretly likes them but is protecting my innocence." > Men > are stimulated visually by beautiful women, and there really isn’t > anything anyone can do about it.
One of the reasons men I know have said they don’t like strip clubs is because it’s not like they’re looking at beautiful women! Some actually find women beautiful based on things other than their bare flesh. Heterosexual men are indeed stimulated by beautiful women, but that doesn’t have that much to do with strip clubs. (btw- I don’t doubt some strippers are truly beautiful…but for some, the atmosphere in which they are viewed severely detracts from their appeal. And, for the record, I could care less if DF wanted to go to a strip club for a bachelor party, but thus far he’s stated the opposite…he’d rather spend time with friends, and depsite your belief that men lie to their partners about such things, he has no reason to lie, so I have no reason to think he’s doing so. ) C/
Response:
<<Ruth, Ignore him, I think it’s Martin trying to get to you.>> Hmmm, considering the person’s he is addressing, the silly one-liners, the constant use of the exclamation point (!), the topics and the word usage and inflections, my money was on it being John Douglas. Not to mention that he recently signed a post "internet hacker" (or words to that effect). Best regards, Rick Rosen Newport Beach, CA www.rickrosen.com
Response:
That’s so sweet. Matt & I don’t have any children, but I know his Mom had one before she married his Dad from a previous marriage. So that had to be difficult to do. His brother was 8 or 9 by the time they got married, I can just imagine how badly he rebelled against the marriage. Rechelle – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > we made our children a big part of the wedding. blending families is not easy, and in our > case, it really helped in getting them excited about the ceremony! > Ruth > {snippage….} > For you, it was probably best you told him, since he was planning on the 14 year old > being there. > Warmest regards, > Rechelle > > did I miss something here? where in this thread are we talking about Karen OR > > copyright??? this is a thread on pre wedding parties. I am ignoring those threads > > now that I posted my response. I sure didn’t notice any comments "gee….sorry….we > > didnt’ realize that Karen DID have full ownership" > > got anything to say about bachelor parties???? > > > Dear Sweetie Ruth, > > > Did Karen Simmons ask to post about the copyright thing that other day? > > > You know she always has to cover her BUTT for things she does! > > > > Stacy, > > > > the EXACT thing happened to me, and boy, was I angry!!! > > > > I tried not to " blow " the secret, so I said, "so, hon…..whadya think about > > > > doin’ some guy things with your friends before the wedding?" > > > > nah. that was always his response. I asked why. he said he didn’t want to get > > > > into the hoo-ha of the "batchelor party" thing, but he could see doing something > > > > like a cookout. > > > > I called his brother who was insisting on arranging this "fun" (strippers, > > > > drinking, etc.) evening and relayed to him that my husband (fiance at the time!) > > > > did not want this; how about a cookout? > > > > vehemently, no! he wanted to "party" but the son/best man could not go because > > > > he was only 14. That REALLY ticked me off. > > > > so, I sat down with Phillip and told him the whole thing. I said that I tried > > > > to explain to his brother what he (Phillip-husband) wanted, but brother (Greg) > > > > wouldn’t listen. he says Greg is so strong headed, he could see that. I told > > > > him I didn’t care what he did, as long as it was in good moral taste, and that > > > > his son/best man was to be a part of it. > > > > he agreed. he talked to his brother and his brother repeatedly insisted on the > > > > "party". Phillip said that whatever he did, his son/best man was going to be > > > > with him, so if it wasn’t appropriate for a 14 yr old, he wasn’t going to do it. > > > > they had a cookout, and had a blast! > > > > good luck!! > > > > let us know what happens. > > > > > I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the > > > > > NG. > > > > > The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This > > > > > is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best > > > > > man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the > > > > > expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his > > > > > intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a > > > > > stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH > > > > > idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I > > > > > dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried > > > > > to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" > > > > > party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will > > > > > enjoy himself. > > > > > Help!!..What can i do???? > > > > > I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a > > > > > secret…. > > > > > Stacy to Rick > > > > > March 18, 2000 > > > > — > — > Ruth Berry > Signature Images > Panama City, Florida > http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
Shouldn’t a best man be a close enough friend to know the groom isn’t into that stuff? (not that their is anything wrong with it, it’s just a very personal thing). melissa to paul 09-24-00
Response:
I would tell my FH about this if I was in a similar situation, but only because I feel more loyalty to him than to his best man. If you really think this surprise bachelor party is going to cause your FH distress and discomfort, then tell him about it and let him decide what he’s going to do about it. This is your future husband, after all, and starting out a marriage by keeping a secret from him that you think may cause him embarassment or discomfort may not be the best thing to do. But don’t be too surprised if he goes along with it even after he finds out what the real deal is. And if that bothers you, then talk to him about it beforehand. -Amy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – >I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the >NG. >The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This >is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best >man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the >expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his >intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a >stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH >idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I >dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried >to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" >party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will >enjoy himself. >Help!!..What can i do???? >I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a >secret…. >Stacy to Rick >March 18, 2000
Response:
Carrie, did you miss parts of my post?? the problem is/was Phillip did not want to go. he told his brother, brother still insisted. bigger still, Phillip’s best man was his 14 year old son. We had the children serve as attendants. I would never dream of placing my own daughter and step-daughter in a situation that included immoral sexual exploitation. I never understand how a man could spend an evening pawing strippers, then look into his bride’s eyes and offer a vow of commitment. I don’t get that. it doesn’t have anything to do with control. it has everything to do with MORAL STANDARDS. maybe it’s just me. Ruth – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Oh Pulll–eeze!!! > While there are a small percentage of men who truly do not enjoy such > evenings, most do. Let’s really, truly be honest with ourselves here. > Of course your sweetie isn’t going to tell you that he has been dying > to go to a party with naked women where he is the guest of honor! Men > are stimulated visually by beautiful women, and there really isn’t > anything anyone can do about it. > Both of you sound controlling and manipulative. As long as you have > trust in your relationship, an evening of strippers and booze in no way > affects your relationship or marriage. If it’s a single night in his > life, you really just need to get over it. As long as he doesn’t > squander his pay check every week at strip joints, there is nothing to > worry about. > While I don’t 100% get the whole deal, and I’m not crazy about it, it > doesn’t bother me. My fiance is able to share his secrets and > fantasies with me, and **GASP** they don’t always include me!! It’s > perfectly natural and normal. It’s kept our relationship and sex life > in great shape to be able to have that kind of honesty. > PS– It’s spelled b-a-c-h-e-l-o-r!!! > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
– Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
did I miss something here? where in this thread are we talking about Karen OR copyright??? this is a thread on pre wedding parties. I am ignoring those threads now that I posted my response. I sure didn’t notice any comments "gee….sorry….we didnt’ realize that Karen DID have full ownership" got anything to say about bachelor parties???? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Dear Sweetie Ruth, > Did Karen Simmons ask to post about the copyright thing that other day? > You know she always has to cover her BUTT for things she does! > Stacy, > the EXACT thing happened to me, and boy, was I angry!!! > I tried not to " blow " the secret, so I said, "so, hon…..whadya think about > doin’ some guy things with your friends before the wedding?" > nah. that was always his response. I asked why. he said he didn’t want to get > into the hoo-ha of the "batchelor party" thing, but he could see doing something > like a cookout. > I called his brother who was insisting on arranging this "fun" (strippers, > drinking, etc.) evening and relayed to him that my husband (fiance at the time!) > did not want this; how about a cookout? > vehemently, no! he wanted to "party" but the son/best man could not go because > he was only 14. That REALLY ticked me off. > so, I sat down with Phillip and told him the whole thing. I said that I tried > to explain to his brother what he (Phillip-husband) wanted, but brother (Greg) > wouldn’t listen. he says Greg is so strong headed, he could see that. I told > him I didn’t care what he did, as long as it was in good moral taste, and that > his son/best man was to be a part of it. > he agreed. he talked to his brother and his brother repeatedly insisted on the > "party". Phillip said that whatever he did, his son/best man was going to be > with him, so if it wasn’t appropriate for a 14 yr old, he wasn’t going to do it. > they had a cookout, and had a blast! > good luck!! > let us know what happens. > > I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the > > NG. > > The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This > > is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best > > man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the > > expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his > > intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a > > stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH > > idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I > > dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried > > to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" > > party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will > > enjoy himself. > > Help!!..What can i do???? > > I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a > > secret…. > > Stacy to Rick > > March 18, 2000 > —
Response:
: Help!!..What can i do???? My honest opinion is that you should do…nothing. It’s the best man’s job to plan the bachelor party. If your FH would not enjoy an evening like that, it’s between him and his best man. Jill
Response:
> Carrie, > did you miss parts of my post?? the problem is/was Phillip did > not want to > go.
You should *never* have interfered. The point I was making that of course he would say to you that he didn’t want to go. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->his >intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a >stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH >idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I >dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried >to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" >party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will >enjoy himself. >Help!!..What can i do???? >I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a >secret…. >Stacy to Rick >March 18, 2000
If you are absolutely certain that Rick will hate this, you have two choices. One, blow the surprise. Who would you rather tick off, the best man, or your husband? Let Rick tell his best man that he’s picked up hints of what’s being planned and that he won’t go along. Two, hint. Express your displeasure over men who indulge in stripper shows right before their weddings, and how a man who finds himself in a stripper situation unexpectedly should just leave. (You have a great opening — just say, "there was this discussion on the newsgroup the other day about bachelor parties…") One hopes Rick will spoil his own bachelor party by simply leaving as soon as the situation becomes clear. (It’s been known to happen.) If you’re not absolutely certain how Rick would react, option two is the only way to go. Good luck Holly (whose hubby had a networked-computer-games party with the rest of the male geeks)
Response:
we made our children a big part of the wedding. blending families is not easy, and in our case, it really helped in getting them excited about the ceremony! Ruth
{snippage….} – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> For you, it was probably best you told him, since he was planning on the 14 year old > being there. > Warmest regards, > Rechelle > did I miss something here? where in this thread are we talking about Karen OR > copyright??? this is a thread on pre wedding parties. I am ignoring those threads > now that I posted my response. I sure didn’t notice any comments "gee….sorry….we > didnt’ realize that Karen DID have full ownership" > got anything to say about bachelor parties???? > > Dear Sweetie Ruth, > > Did Karen Simmons ask to post about the copyright thing that other day? > > You know she always has to cover her BUTT for things she does! > > > Stacy, > > > the EXACT thing happened to me, and boy, was I angry!!! > > > I tried not to " blow " the secret, so I said, "so, hon…..whadya think about > > > doin’ some guy things with your friends before the wedding?" > > > nah. that was always his response. I asked why. he said he didn’t want to get > > > into the hoo-ha of the "batchelor party" thing, but he could see doing something > > > like a cookout. > > > I called his brother who was insisting on arranging this "fun" (strippers, > > > drinking, etc.) evening and relayed to him that my husband (fiance at the time!) > > > did not want this; how about a cookout? > > > vehemently, no! he wanted to "party" but the son/best man could not go because > > > he was only 14. That REALLY ticked me off. > > > so, I sat down with Phillip and told him the whole thing. I said that I tried > > > to explain to his brother what he (Phillip-husband) wanted, but brother (Greg) > > > wouldn’t listen. he says Greg is so strong headed, he could see that. I told > > > him I didn’t care what he did, as long as it was in good moral taste, and that > > > his son/best man was to be a part of it. > > > he agreed. he talked to his brother and his brother repeatedly insisted on the > > > "party". Phillip said that whatever he did, his son/best man was going to be > > > with him, so if it wasn’t appropriate for a 14 yr old, he wasn’t going to do it. > > > they had a cookout, and had a blast! > > > good luck!! > > > let us know what happens. > > > > I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the > > > > NG. > > > > The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This > > > > is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best > > > > man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the > > > > expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his > > > > intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a > > > > stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH > > > > idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I > > > > dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried > > > > to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" > > > > party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will > > > > enjoy himself. > > > > Help!!..What can i do???? > > > > I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a > > > > secret…. > > > > Stacy to Rick > > > > March 18, 2000 > > > —
– Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
Ruth, Ignore him, I think it’s Martin trying to get to you. As for the bachelor party, you were right to tell your fiance’ (now husband) what was going on. It is his party and if he didn’t want the strippers, it should’ve been his choice. I’m not sure if Matt is having a bachelor or not, but what happens at it is his choice. For you, it was probably best you told him, since he was planning on the 14 year old being there. Warmest regards, Rechelle – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > did I miss something here? where in this thread are we talking about Karen OR > copyright??? this is a thread on pre wedding parties. I am ignoring those threads > now that I posted my response. I sure didn’t notice any comments "gee….sorry….we > didnt’ realize that Karen DID have full ownership" > got anything to say about bachelor parties???? > Dear Sweetie Ruth, > Did Karen Simmons ask to post about the copyright thing that other day? > You know she always has to cover her BUTT for things she does! > > Stacy, > > the EXACT thing happened to me, and boy, was I angry!!! > > I tried not to " blow " the secret, so I said, "so, hon…..whadya think about > > doin’ some guy things with your friends before the wedding?" > > nah. that was always his response. I asked why. he said he didn’t want to get > > into the hoo-ha of the "batchelor party" thing, but he could see doing something > > like a cookout. > > I called his brother who was insisting on arranging this "fun" (strippers, > > drinking, etc.) evening and relayed to him that my husband (fiance at the time!) > > did not want this; how about a cookout? > > vehemently, no! he wanted to "party" but the son/best man could not go because > > he was only 14. That REALLY ticked me off. > > so, I sat down with Phillip and told him the whole thing. I said that I tried > > to explain to his brother what he (Phillip-husband) wanted, but brother (Greg) > > wouldn’t listen. he says Greg is so strong headed, he could see that. I told > > him I didn’t care what he did, as long as it was in good moral taste, and that > > his son/best man was to be a part of it. > > he agreed. he talked to his brother and his brother repeatedly insisted on the > > "party". Phillip said that whatever he did, his son/best man was going to be > > with him, so if it wasn’t appropriate for a 14 yr old, he wasn’t going to do it. > > they had a cookout, and had a blast! > > good luck!! > > let us know what happens. > > > I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the > > > NG. > > > The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This > > > is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best > > > man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the > > > expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his > > > intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a > > > stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH > > > idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I > > > dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried > > > to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" > > > party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will > > > enjoy himself. > > > Help!!..What can i do???? > > > I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a > > > secret…. > > > Stacy to Rick > > > March 18, 2000 > > —
Response:
Dear Sweetie Ruth, Did Karen Simmons ask to post about the copyright thing that other day? You know she always has to cover her BUTT for things she does! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Stacy, > the EXACT thing happened to me, and boy, was I angry!!! > I tried not to " blow " the secret, so I said, "so, hon…..whadya think about > doin’ some guy things with your friends before the wedding?" > nah. that was always his response. I asked why. he said he didn’t want to get > into the hoo-ha of the "batchelor party" thing, but he could see doing something > like a cookout. > I called his brother who was insisting on arranging this "fun" (strippers, > drinking, etc.) evening and relayed to him that my husband (fiance at the time!) > did not want this; how about a cookout? > vehemently, no! he wanted to "party" but the son/best man could not go because > he was only 14. That REALLY ticked me off. > so, I sat down with Phillip and told him the whole thing. I said that I tried > to explain to his brother what he (Phillip-husband) wanted, but brother (Greg) > wouldn’t listen. he says Greg is so strong headed, he could see that. I told > him I didn’t care what he did, as long as it was in good moral taste, and that > his son/best man was to be a part of it. > he agreed. he talked to his brother and his brother repeatedly insisted on the > "party". Phillip said that whatever he did, his son/best man was going to be > with him, so if it wasn’t appropriate for a 14 yr old, he wasn’t going to do it. > they had a cookout, and had a blast! > good luck!! > let us know what happens. > I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the > NG. > The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This > is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best > man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the > expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his > intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a > stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH > idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I > dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried > to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" > party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will > enjoy himself. > Help!!..What can i do???? > I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a > secret…. > Stacy to Rick > March 18, 2000 > — > Ruth Berry > Signature Images > Panama City, Florida > http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
Stacy, the EXACT thing happened to me, and boy, was I angry!!! I tried not to " blow " the secret, so I said, "so, hon…..whadya think about doin’ some guy things with your friends before the wedding?" nah. that was always his response. I asked why. he said he didn’t want to get into the hoo-ha of the "batchelor party" thing, but he could see doing something like a cookout. I called his brother who was insisting on arranging this "fun" (strippers, drinking, etc.) evening and relayed to him that my husband (fiance at the time!) did not want this; how about a cookout? vehemently, no! he wanted to "party" but the son/best man could not go because he was only 14. That REALLY ticked me off. so, I sat down with Phillip and told him the whole thing. I said that I tried to explain to his brother what he (Phillip-husband) wanted, but brother (Greg) wouldn’t listen. he says Greg is so strong headed, he could see that. I told him I didn’t care what he did, as long as it was in good moral taste, and that his son/best man was to be a part of it. he agreed. he talked to his brother and his brother repeatedly insisted on the "party". Phillip said that whatever he did, his son/best man was going to be with him, so if it wasn’t appropriate for a 14 yr old, he wasn’t going to do it. they had a cookout, and had a blast! good luck!! let us know what happens. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I have some concerns and would like some input and HELP from you guys on the > NG. > The best man in our wedding is throwing a batchelor party for my FH. This > is a surprise because my FH did not really want a batchelor party. The best > man thinks its because my FH does not want to put his best man through the > expense of a batchelor party. I have talked with the Bestman and his > intentions are to have what he calls the "average" batchelor party with a > stripper, alcholol, games, etc.(this i think is so "60’s) I know that my FH > idea of a batchelor party is NOT this. He is very easily embarassed and I > dont think would even appreciate this kind of batchelor party. I have tried > to give the BM different ideas but he just wont budge off this "traditional" > party idea. I dont like the idea and I really dont think that my FH will > enjoy himself. > Help!!..What can i do???? > I cant talk with my FH about this cause i promised to keep the surprise a > secret…. > Stacy to Rick > March 18, 2000
– Ruth Berry Signature Images Panama City, Florida http://www.berryimages.com
Response:
Oh Pulll–eeze!!! While there are a small percentage of men who truly do not enjoy such evenings, most do. Let’s really, truly be honest with ourselves here. Of course your sweetie isn’t going to tell you that he has been dying to go to a party with naked women where he is the guest of honor! Men are stimulated visually by beautiful women, and there really isn’t anything anyone can do about it. Both of you sound controlling and manipulative. As long as you have trust in your relationship, an evening of strippers and booze in no way affects your relationship or marriage. If it’s a single night in his life, you really just need to get over it. As long as he doesn’t squander his pay check every week at strip joints, there is nothing to worry about. While I don’t 100% get the whole deal, and I’m not crazy about it, it doesn’t bother me. My fiance is able to share his secrets and fantasies with me, and **GASP** they don’t always include me!! It’s perfectly natural and normal. It’s kept our relationship and sex life in great shape to be able to have that kind of honesty. PS– It’s spelled b-a-c-h-e-l-o-r!!! * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!